"Oh, what a beautiful baby boy I have, his eyes reveal hopes and dreams, like any other's." - An Excerpt from the Journal of Melinda Horst
Theodore Horst, better known as Lazer Ted, is a former associate of Mako Trig from his days at the September Institute and still works at the Sam Goody in the Bacchus Biotech Recreational District on September. Ted is known for his resourcefulness, flashy style, and blatant disregard for the law. Apart from his ability to "get anyone into anywhere," Lazer Ted is also known to play a lot of video games. Like, a lot.
Ted is a Caucasian human male of average build and height with brightly colored cornrows that are lasers. Literally lasers.  He wears shades that project the real time picture from a camera drone that flies ahead of him to capture his own face. Lazer Ted's teeth are hidden by a "grill" comprised of hundreds of LEDs that form a display, which often displays words or catchphrases for a few seconds after he uses them in conversation. 
Interaction with The Chime
In Episode 31, Mako contacts Lazer Ted in order to secure forged credentials for The Chime as part of their plan to infiltrate the September Institute. Ted reveals that he can help with this plan, but has received a lifelong ban from Kinko's for attempting to print his own printer, and thus has no access to a laminator to finish the fake IDs. During the escapade to remove Ted's ban from the store, it is revealed that Lazer Ted is also a Stratus, albeit not a very good one.
Facts About Lazer Ted (according to Lazer Ted)
- Makes good music.
- Can send you his latest mix through his eyes.
- Only had one arm for a while.
- Destroyed a planet one time.
- Is wavy.